Letting Go

I believe we are all grieving some kind of loss. Whether it is the loss of our childhood, our health, a parent or a relationship we are all grieving. We cannot go back to the way things were as much as we wish we could. Have you ever said to your partner “I just want us to be the way we were before”.  It’s just not possible because we all grow and change every day so we cannot go back to the way we were. This is where we need to work on being able to let go.  Letting go of our dreams of how things were and how we might want them to be.

What about letting go of current things in our lives that are causing us a lot of stress or are just not serving us? Are there people in your life that are weighing you down, holding you back or hurting you? It might not be as easy to let go of a person but if this person must be in your life, is there a way to set some boundaries?

What about actual stuff that we need/want to get rid of? Stuff we are hanging onto because of guilt, worry about just in case, a dream of the future, I am going to fix this someday, stuff that someone gave us that we don’t even like….you get the picture.

I like to ask myself “What could I be letting go of? What in my physical or emotional environment is no longer helping me to move forward?  What will I make space for in my life?”

I love this quote by Melody Beattie

Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible–controlling that which we cannot–and instead, focus on what is possible–which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.

Melody Beattie

About Kimberley

I am a Case Manager at My Sisters' Place which is a program of the Canadian Mental Health Association London Middlesex. My Sisters' Place is a program for vulnerable women. I love my job and all the wonderful women I work with. I am very honored to do this work with women who have been through so much and are so open in sharing their stories. I initiated and designed a Clearing Clutter Support Group which I have been facilitating since 2007 with a co-worker. I love running this group and learn so much from the participants. We offer this eight week program three or four times a year. I started my business Space For You in 2010 and work with individuals in their homes as well as offer some workshops in the community. I am available to speak to groups on "De-Cluttering Your Life", "The Magic of De-Cluttering", "Space Clearing" or really anything to do with clutter and hoarding.
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12 Responses to Letting Go

  1. Cheryl says:

    Excellent Kim ! Where might have I heard this? Perhaps Danns Faulds…”Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold:…” and you know where you heard that!

    • Kimberley says:

      Awesome Cheryl!! Yes, I didn’t put that together and I am thinking who?? but you are right, that is exactly what we talked about in Yoga Class this week 🙂 Thanks for your comment

  2. Seana Turner says:

    I love that quote… “Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care.” That’s pretty powerful. It takes the air out of the “guilt balloon!”

    • Kimberley says:

      I think you are right – that is a powerful statement and what it means is that we are taking care of ourselves. Thanks Seana 🙂

  3. April says:

    I do find it very difficult to let go of things that I have my parent signature or papers regarding their estate.. think about it it’s been over 20 years and it feels uncomfortable to get rid of some of the stuff. Yet I know I’ll never look at it again.

    • Kimberley says:

      I know what you mean April – Maybe, you could just keep some of the papers with their signatures and let go of the others 🙂 Thanks for commenting xoxo

  4. Andi Willis says:

    For some of my clients, letting go of long gone loved ones’ possessions is so incredibly difficult and painful. I try to remind them that them memories are in their heads and not in the items. Intellectually they get it but emotionally it’s hard. So often we concentrate on shedding the least painful items first then when the client starts to feel a sense of accomplishment they often can start getting rid of more emotional items. It’s a process for all of us.

    • Kimberley says:

      Thank you Andi. Yes that is so true. Good idea to shed the least painful items first then it can start to feel easier with less uncomfortable emotions.

  5. This touched me in many ways, Kim. Thank you so much.

  6. Beautiful post!
    You had me at “I believe we are all grieving some kind of loss.” As a transplant from Brazil to the US, even after 16 years living here I still find myself searching for references and many times I play “what if…”.
    Thank you for helping me find more awareness to that.

    • Kimberley says:

      Helena – Love that “I had you at….” I am glad that this helped you to be more aware of your own personal situation. Sounds like you have an interesting story. Thank you for your comment.

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