This is my talk that I did at Speakers Boot Camp. I have to say it was a great experience and I know the more I put myself out there, the easier it gets. I find it difficult to talk about myself as I am a very private person. I know that comes as a surprise to many but it is true. I think I am better at getting my thoughts down on paper as opposed to speaking in front of a group but as I said it does get easier. My talk didn’t exactly turn out like this but this is what it was meant to be.
What to wear, what to wear? Do you ever feel like its like Groundhog Day for you? Same issue every day!! It is usually one of those days when you are running late, of course, and you are trying to figure out what to wear? You try something on, look in the mirror and say NO, this is not going to work …so, its gets thrown on the bed or the floor. It’s very frustrating and not a good way to start your day.
How do you want to feel on a daily basis? What is the image you want to portray? What do you wear to feel powerful and the best you you can be?
I had a friend help me with some de-cluttering recently and she asked if she could look in my front closet? She had me try on some of the many coats I had in there. She would then ask me “what do you think?, “how does this make you feel”, “does it fit” and “does it make you feel like a queen”? In most cases, as I tried on each piece of clothing, I would shrug my shoulders and my response was “meh” and the item ended up on the floor in a pile. She said that if it didn’t fit or didn’t make me feel like a queen then it had to go. As I watched the growing pile for donation on the floor she asked me “from what is left in your closet, what do you have that makes you feel powerful and in charge of your life” I looked around and I had to say it was my cloak which she had me put on. I walked around a bit swinging my cloak and looking and feeling like a million bucks. I was really owning my space and the world. My cloak makes me feel like a queen and in charge of my life but of course I can’t wear that every day.
As I looked at the huge pile on the floor, I was feeling a little worried as I said to my friend “you aren’t going to make me go through my shoes are you?” She laughed!! But seriously, this process was really helpful for me to understand how challenging it is to downsize your possessions and how it is for the clients I work with.
So, I continued to have nothing to wear, and it was time for me to cull the clothing and figure out what I do have and do the seasonal change thing.
I saw that I have quite a number of cute tops that I have not worn at all over the summer and these are tops that I have worn and loved in the past. Even though I did love them they were looking old and a little too skimpy for my liking these days. I felt they had to go. I found clothing that I could have worn this past summer which was kind of annoying as I was remembering how hard it was to find what I wanted to wear. A good case for getting more organized.
What about the pants and skirts that don’t fit anymore? The tendency is to avoid them, not try them on and just close that drawer and pretend they are not there. But they are there and they are taking up valuable space that could be used for items of clothing that I do love and am able to wear on a daily basis. And when we have clothing that doesn’t fit, how do you think that clothing makes us feel about ourselves? It likely just makes us feel bad.
Even though this clothing is tucked away somewhere and we might not really think about it, it is clutter. This is clutter. Our stuff is often about the dream of how things were in the past and how we want things to be now or in the future. Sometimes it is about giving up on that dream, knowing that we are not likely going to fit back into a size 8 and realizing that.
I am thinking that it is time to let some things to go but…… You may have seen this quote around?…..“How is it I detest every article of clothing I own, because I have nothing to wear, but when I go to throw it away, I develop this deep sentimental relationship with it?” I just love that quote and think it is so true. It is like maybe I should keep this, no it needs to go, oh I am not sure. So, there also can be that second guessing and just not really trusting yourself to make the right decision.
Looking good and feeling good have nothing to do with what other people think and everything to do with how you think and feel when you are wearing that outfit.
Have you ever seen the picture of the cat looking in the mirror and the lion is looking back at him. Yeah, its kinda like that. It reminds me of another quote which says “whether you think you can or you can’t, you are absolutely right.” I love that!!
You can apply these same principles to your space where you live. Think about how you feel or how you want to feel in your space? Are you feeling “meh” or do you feel like your space is sacred and helps you to feel relaxed, calm, peaceful, grounded, rejuvenated, and refreshed ready to go out into the world again knowing that you are the best you you can be…
