Do You Say Yes When You Would Rather Say No?

Saying yes to yourself sometimes means saying no to others.  There are times when you need to put yourself first because you deserve it and are worth it.   Setting limits and boundaries with others and learning how to say No will help you to stay true to yourself.  In the long run you will respect yourself and others will respect you as well.  A win/win!!

Do you ever feel like you are on auto-pilot with no time for yourself and find that you put others needs before your own?   Do you ever schedule personal time for yourself?  That can really be difficult for most of us.  We often put ourselves last on the list and just hope to get a little downtime in our day.  We might not even know what to do or what to focus on if we had the time for ourselves.  Some of us might just prefer to be busy in order to avoid some of those negative emotions that might come up.

What could you say no to in order to have more me time?

Having an awareness of emotions and feelings is so key to helping you to speak your truth. This will help you to tackle your own personal goals and challenges. Click To Tweet

If you find yourself feeling resentful about how you are spending your time, this could be a clue that your boundaries are being stepped on.  Perhaps you find yourself saying yes and then kicking yourself wishing you had said No.  If that is the case, the next time someone asks you to do something or to help with something, decide that you are going to take a bit of breathing space.  You could say something like “I will have to check my schedule or even just saying “I will get back to you on that”.  Going for a walk, meditating on it or just taking some time for yourself to think about what you really want to do might be helpful.

For myself, I find when I do yoga (most mornings) I often feel inspired with some great thoughts and ideas for my day or perhaps some future planning.  I often get some great ah ha moments during this me time. Actually, I believe that yoga gives me more time in the day.  The same can be said for meditation as it helps us to slow down and to have some breathing space.  Taking some time to breathe and regroup during your busy day can be beneficial as well.  Check out this blog post for some ideas on how to be more grounded.  

https://spaceforyou.ca/2015/03/09/3-ways-to-be-more-grounded-and-organized/

Maybe you have some personal de-cluttering or organizing goals that you have set for yourself but you just never seem to get to because other things always get in the way.  This might just be a convenient excuse stopping you from doing this work especially if the things you want or feel you have to do are hard or just not fun. You might not have even thought of it that way.  It is so easy to sabotage our own goals especially if no one else but ourselves know.  Think about how this makes you feel about yourself over time?

What could you do to honour yourself and put yourself at the top of your list? 

This is where some accountability can really be a benefit to help you to achieve your goals and to help you to make some progress with what you want for your life.  There is still time to join us on the Facebook Group “Declutter Your Life and Mind” We are just starting Week 2 of the Six Week Declutter Your Life and Mind Challenge.

https://www.facebook.com/events/226056661539690/?event_time_id=226056681539688

Thank you for following along and I welcome any comments or feedback.  Happy De-cluttering!

 

 

 

 

  

About Kimberley

I am a Clutter Coach and an Expert on Clutter, Chronic Disorganization and Hoarding. My passion is working with individuals to help them to clear the physical and emotional clutter in their lives. I facilitate a Clearing Clutter Support Group which has helped hundreds of individuals to make positive changes in their homes and life. I credit the individuals I have met through my work in mental health for teaching me empathy, compassion and that all of us have strengths that can help us to achieve our goals. I work with individuals in their homes as well as offer workshops in the community. I would love to come out to speak to your group on How to Declutter Your Life and Mind.
This entry was posted in De-Clutter Your Life, Emotional Clutter, goal setting, Inspiration, Organizing, Re-organize and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Do You Say Yes When You Would Rather Say No?

  1. Seana Turner says:

    The idea of putting that “pause before the yes” is so powerful. Often we say yes because of the emotion of the moment. Giving ourselves permission to truly evaluate all that would be involved is critical to good decision making!

    • Kimberley says:

      I know that I often need time to think about whether I want to do something or not. It is no fun to be impulsive and then end up doing something you don’t want to be doing. Thanks for commenting Seana 🙂

  2. I like your idea of breathing space and just saying, “I’ll get back to you on that.” Recently someone at church asked me to do something and I was about to say yes (you know that whole religious guilt thing), but I really didn’t have the time or mental capacity to commit to it so after taking a pause, I was able to instead say, no. It felt good to honor my gut and protect my boundaries.

    • Kimberley says:

      Awesome, it can be really hard to do and feels foreign to us if it has been a pattern. Good for you for being able to do that. It does get easier the more we practice. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Angela says:

    I have had a hard time saying ‘no’ in the past, especially with family and volunteering. But I’m getting better! I’d rather be enthusiastic when giving my time than resentful. Thank you!

    • Kimberley says:

      Hi Angela – I like that “I’d rather be enthusiastic when giving my time than resentful”. Makes good sense. Thanks for commenting.

  4. This is such an important topic: learning to say no. Many people, including me, were brought up to always say yes. That can be dangerous for so many reasons. It’s been part of my journey learning how to honor my own needs is a way that doesn’t feel selfish. And each time I’m able to be honest with myself and others it’s a small win and feels really good. It definitely takes practice, but I’ve learned to take that pause and think through a choice before just agreeing. I don’t labor over the decision, but give just a bit more time.

  5. Interesting thoughts, especially the possibility that we might be saying Yes to low value activities because they give us an excuse for not accomplishing as much as we could otherwise.

    • Kimberley says:

      Thanks Janet – I love this and it happens so often. We can easily sabotage our own personal goals just because we know they are hard and might bring up uncomfortable feelings. Thanks for commenting.

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