Do you ever hear yourself saying “change is so hard” or “I really don’t like change”? I have heard this a lot from friends and clients. The more we say this to ourselves, the more we believe these statements to be true. Changes whether they are hard or not, will help us to grow. I have always said “I love change” but really, what I mean is that as long as its a positive change then I am all for it.
But, what if it isn’t a great change? This past year and a half is testimony to that. There are things that happen that we have no control over and we cannot change or fix. That is hard!
Personally, I have been going through some changes and losses over the past year within my family. Helping to take care of my dad who has had medical issues for many years and just passed February 1 at the age of 91. Now taking care of my 91 year old mom who continues to be in her home on her own and is having some challenges of her own.
The family dynamics have changed as well and this is a situation that I cannot fix. So, I choose to be mindful and kind always. I know we will get through this and I just want to handle each moment with courage, grace and wisdom. Being mindful in this situation to me means being aware of the emotions that come up, reaching out to others for support, reading as much as I can to learn about aging and taking care and being kind to myself.
What about change that comes from decluttering?
Reaching out for help can mean that you are ready to make some changes. And that can be scary or stressful because then “you have to do the work” I get it!
What if……….you had everything decluttered the way you want it and you were able to maintain your space…………What would this mean for you? How would you feel?
“To change skins, evolve into new cycles, I feel one has to learn to discard. If one changes internally, one should not continue to live with the same objects. They reflect one’s mind and the psyche of yesterday. I throw away what has no dynamic, living use.” Anais Nin
It is so important to check in with yourself and know who you are today. Living intentionally means that it is not about the past or about the future. Think about what is most important for you today. What do you need to let go of to allow more of yourself to shine through?
This quote came to mind after a group member talked about the risks of making a change.
Making changes can be stressful. Practicing self acceptance and compassion can help you to appreciate yourself wherever you are in this process. Reward yourself for the effort you are making. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to make positive changes in your life.
Did you know that Coffee Chats are happening on Zoom once a month with members from the Declutter Your Life and Mind Facebook Group? They are so fun and inspirational. Join us for some lively discussion about all things organizing. You will need to join our group as our chats are confidential of course. You can join here
I am currently taking new clients for Virtual Organizing Sessions. Usually one hour long, costs less than in person contact and you get to do the work but with guidance and inspiration from me. Would you like to chat with me to see how we could work together? Sign up here for a 20 minute exploration call. I would love to work with you!
My condolences to you. So hard to lose your Dad. Hugs! Pretty much all of my friends are in this stage of caring for aging parents right now. It just is a tough phase. I love that image and quote you shared. Sometimes change is just the best thing, even when it hurts. Sending you hugs as you care for your Mom and continue through a transitional time!
Thanks Seana,
Yes, so true for me as well that a lot of my friends are in this same situation or have been. Just a part of life but not easy. Thank you for your support
Kim- My heart goes out to you for the loss of your Dad, and the challenges your mom is facing. These are the hard parts of life. Your parents were/are so lucky to have your love, compassion, and support.
I love the distinction you made about loving change that is positive, but the “other types” of change not so much. That makes a lot of sense. All change takes a shift in energy and priorities. It takes us away from the familiar, but often brings us somewhere wonderful we couldn’t have imagined. While I do seek change, I also love stability. So there is always an interesting push-pull going on between wanting and NOT wanting change. One thing I have recognized is that change (good or not so good,) is alway uncomfortable. But that discomfort doesn’t prevent me from growing. I’ve come to accept the discomfort while navigating change.
What a great Anais Nin passage about change skins and evolving cycles! Love that.
Hi Linda,
Very well said!
Becoming a professional organizer helped me understand and prepare for the change in family dynamics early. I’m so sorry for your loss and I imagine helping your mom has been challenging. It’s wonderful that you can help her! I’ve started preparing and helping my parents downsize while they’re still independent because I know that change is inevitable and I want to help ease their transitions. Helping clients do the work of sorting through a love one’s belongings after they’ve passed is a tough process. I love being able to help clients through this transition stage and know how important it is to have support.
Hi Melanie
I wish I could have helped my mom more with downsizing but she always refused my help. She still says she wants to do it herself but I don’t believe she can and there is no evidence of any progress. Its going to be challenging to clean out her home. Thank you for commenting.
“Living intentionally means that it is not about the past or about the future. Think about what is most important for you today. What do you need to let go of to allow more of yourself to shine through?” This really spoke to me today, Kim. I’m thinking of the hard changes you’re going through and admiring how you’re able to bring your focus back to the here and now. A great way to live, and a constant practice. It’s almost impossible to help family members downsize/declutter without damaging the relationship, I think your implied decision to wait on that until your mom passes is a beautiful gift to her and your relationship with her.