There are times when you need to be setting clear boundaries and creating space for you. Put yourself first because you deserve it and are worth it! Saying yes to yourself sometimes means saying no to others. I know it’s not always easy. Setting limits and boundaries with others and learning how to say No will help you to stay true to yourself. In the long run you will respect yourself and others will respect you as well. A win/win!!
Maybe you feel like you are on auto-pilot with no time for yourself and always putting others needs before your own. We often put ourselves last on the list and just hope to get a little downtime in our day or evening. Do you schedule personal time for yourself? That can really be difficult for most of us. We might not even know what to do or what to focus on if we had the time for ourselves. Some of us might just prefer to be busy in order to avoid whatever might come up.
Having an awareness of emotions and feelings is so key to helping you to speak your truth. This will help you to set boundaries and make space for you.
If you find yourself feeling resentful about how you are spending your time, this is a clue that your boundaries are being stepped on. Perhaps you find yourself saying yes and then kicking yourself wishing you had said No. If that is the case, the next time someone asks you to do something or to help with something, decide that you are going to take a bit of breathing space. You could say something like “I will have to check my schedule and I will get back to you”.
Going for a walk, journaling, meditating or just taking some time for yourself to think about what you really want to do might be helpful.
I find when I do yoga (most mornings) I often feel inspired with some great thoughts and ideas for my day or perhaps some future planning. I often get some great ah ha moments during this time. Actually, I believe that yoga gives me more time in the day. The same can be said for meditation as it helps us to slow down and to have some breathing space. Taking some time to breathe and regroup during your busy day can be beneficial as well. Check out this blog post for some ideas on how to be more grounded.
Maybe you have some personal de-cluttering or organizing goals that you have set for yourself but you just never seem to get to them because other things get in the way. You might be unconsciously sabotaging yourself especially if the things you want are hard to do. You might not have even thought of it that way. Maybe you think that you are only disappointing yourself so its no big deal. Think about how this makes you feel about yourself over time?
This is where some accountability can really be a benefit to help you to achieve your goals and to help you to make some progress with what you want for your home and life. I would love to hear your thoughts about this. Let’s chat! Schedule some time with me or comment below.
Happy Decluttering!
Wow, I love this sentence: “If you find yourself feeling resentful about how you are spending your time, this is a clue that your boundaries are being stepped on.” I’ve been learning more about boundaries recently, what they are and what they are not. Boundaries are things we set for our own behavior, not limits we put on other people. We can’t control other people, but we can control ourselves. So if our boundaries are being stepped on, we may be failing to follow through with behaviors we decided we would perform should a boundary be violated. Not sure this is coming through clearly, but it is resonating with me this morning nonetheless. 🙂
Hi Seana,
I love that! Its so true that boundaries are what we set for ourselves. We have control over them and we do not have control over anyone else. Thanks for commenting!
That sentence also really stuck out to me!
Hi Lisa, Many thanks for letting me know.
Boundaries are essential. I love how you describe the way it makes you feel when they get stepped on. “If you find yourself feeling resentful about how you are spending your time, this is a clue that your boundaries are being stepped on.”
Also, if you have no breathing space, it’s another cue that your boundaries could use some re-defining. For me, meditating daily helps with practicing ‘the pause.’ Breathing, slowing things down, and grounding myself make it easier to create distance between an ‘ask and my response. I can more easily evaluate whether to say yes or no in that quiet space.
Hi Linda, Thankyou – yes, and I think it is a practice and a process for sure.
I like to please people, but I’m not a “people pleaser” in the strictest sense. My boundaries have always come first.
I’ve learned that if I am persuaded to wobble on my boundaries (as opposed to when I naturally offer without having been asked), I am guaranteed to resent the entire experience, which isn’t good for me or, honestly, the person who wants my attention. “If you find yourself feeling resentful about how you are spending your time, this is a clue that your boundaries are being stepped on.” should go on a needlepoint sampler!
As a singleton, my life is designed such that I always have breathing space; it’s rare that I have obligations to others outside of work, and rarer still when I can’t meet them on my own terms. Having all that breathing space means that when I do make myself available to others, it’s because I’ve had the buffer I need to bring my best, calmest self.
Thats so good Julie. Love the sampler idea lol Sounds like you have mastered a good way to protect your own personal boundaries.